Florida Trail: Overseas Heritage Trail Day 1
January 6, 2022
Mile: 0.0 to 8.7 (8.7 miles)
Start: Southernmost Point of the USA, Key West, FL
Finish: Key West Naval Air Station, Boca Chica
- Animals seen today: Chickens, cats, pelicans, cormorants, needlefish, stingray, spotted eagle ray, dog, upside-down jellyfish, nurse shark, lobster
- Keys crossed today: Key West, Stock Island, Boca Chica
Key West is a mini taste of the Caribbean barely connected to the US mainland by a series of one way in, one way out highways and bridges spanning miles of shallow seas dotted occasionally by mounds of white coral and twisted labyrinths of dark mangroves. The island’s history is complex and filled with diverse characters ranging from shipwreck salvagers, railroad tycoons, secret Bahamanian settlements, pirates and privateers like Jean LaFitte and Blackbeard, fishermen, partying authors and politicians. At one point the group of Florida Key islands renamed themselves the “Conch Republic” and even briefly announced secession from the United States in 1982 after protesting against US Customs and Border Patrol stopping and searching every single vehicle leaving the Keys for the estimated 150,000 Cuban and Haitian refugees escaping political and economic strife in their home nations who made the dangerous ocean crossing to Florida. Today’s residents (aka “Conchs”) are still eclectic and diverse supported by an economy of indulgent tourists and habituated by world class fishermen, a thriving LGBTQA+ community, hardworking service industry folks, a strong US military presence and the bohemian crowd struggling to balance borderline alcoholism with becoming the next Hemingway. You can’t forget the obnoxious island chickens who afford more protections than most humans or the genetic anomalies multi-toed street cats said to be descendants of Ernest Hemingway’s favorite felines.
Technically the Florida Trail begins 200 miles north of Key West but we were hoping that before we dove right into the alligator and snake infested swamps of the Everglades that we would enjoy the coral reefs and sunshine of the island life. It sounded like we were going to be slogging through knee- and thigh-deep swamp water for days at a time on the Florida Trail proper so we thought we’d tack on the gorgeous Florida Overseas Heritage Trail. Hey, we needed something nice to think about as we’re trudging through the blackwater swamps dodging 18-foot-long pythons, crocodiles, poisonous snakes and bird-eating spiders. Why not spend a week hiking through an island paradise to kick it all off?
Yesterday we had barely made it out of Minnesota where a snowstorm and -28F temperatures had almost grounded our airplane. We’d been spending the past two months between the Pacific Crest Trail and Florida Trail up at a family cabin in the Minnesota north woods where the lake was thick with ice fishermen houses and recently the cold was so bitter that our outdoor training had to be put on hold due to -50F degree windchills. Our good friends Kelsey and Glen (and their big fluffy Pyrenees Watson) had let us crash at their place near the MSP airport the night before which was some real trail magic. Glen even woke up at 4am to drive us to the airport which was super kind and his and Shannon’s rap song that they created on the ride through the snowy streets is definitely going to go platinum one day.
When we finally made it through the snow, the freezing fog and gray skies, we were overjoyed to fly by the coral islands of the Florida Keys and land wheels down on the tiny palm tree filled airport of Key West. The airport was so tiny that there was no ramp to the airport and only one set of boarding stairs so we had to wait 20 minutes before we could disembark the plane. Stepping off the runway stairs we were bathed in 80F warmth, a soft ocean breeze and the tang of salt in the air. Coconut palms swayed alongside the airport and we snatched our backpacks off the tiny luggage belt, grabbed an Uber and listened to strange wild chickens cluck and cock-a-doodle-doo while waiting for our ride.
The island was a gorgeous place and we checked into the Navy Base where we were camping since veterans and their guests may camp out for a pretty reasonable $26/night vs. the $300/night the cheaper hotels were charging in Key West. Once the Navy security guards performed a background check on us, we were escorted onto the base by a kind soldier who drove us the mile up the road to the campground office. Since it’s the government who runs the place, the campground office is only open from something like 7-3:30pm and after hours you’re handed off to a volunteer campground host. A kind veteran volunteer named Jimmy in a golf cart dropped us off at our tentsite where we were greeted by a bunch of retirees grilling out and drinking. Sally, the unofficial and self-appointed campground Social Director for 8 years, greeted us and asked if we wanted venison burgers which we politely declined to go downtown in search of fresh seafood. We met her friend Charlie who was very eager to show us photos of a massive alligator eating an equally large python that he saw last week while cycling next to the Florida swamps. Yikes!
Our time in Key West was spent walking the 3 miles downtown alongside the waterfront spying a giant spiny lobster and nurse sharks zigzagging under the harbor docks. We chowed down at the friendly Eatonport fish market where the Bahamanian waitress helped us snack on some fresh conch and lobster tail rinsed down with Jai Alai beer and Perry pear cider. More drinks at the waterfront brewery to celebrate being able to walk outside without getting frostbitten and then we headed home, dodging the smashed bicyclists who crashed on the sidewalk at least three times. Our Uber drivers the next day told us that the drunk tourists are like the Key West chickens – they need to be protected at all costs, even if they run or fall into the road.
The morning we started our hike we woke up early, chatting to our camping neighbors Sally and Charlie and crew who were going paddling amongst the mangroves on Geiger Key today. We chowed down on grapes offered by one of the Wisconsin moms vacationing down here and then Shannon and I hiked off the base, snagging a ride just off base the 3 miles to the Southernmost Point. By 8:30am there was already a small line queuing up to take photos at the Southernmost Point buoy which was crazy how many tourists were already here. We snagged some photos, admiring the new paint job on the National Monument after a couple of teenagers lit a Christmas tree on fire on New Year’s Eve a week ago. Apparently the teenagers posted a video of them lighting the monument on fire on social media so it won’t be long til they’re prosecuted.
As we left mile marker 0.0 we dodged tourists and loads of Hemingway’s supposed chickens. There were chickens in the road, chickens in the parking lots, even chickens at the beach and the AIDS memorial. The trail tracked along the imported sandy coves where beachgoers tanned themselves on the unnatural sand as coconut palms danced in the sea breeze and heavily laden sea oats rustled in the salty Atlantic winds. We wound our way around fancy resorts decorated in royal palms and construction zones, an African enslaved peoples burial ground and the Key West AIDS Memorial. Pelicans dove into the shallows of the coral reef off the coastal bike path, feasting on fish. Airplanes at the tiny Key West airport touched down, refueled and took off again. A snorkeler and his husband perused the marine life thriving alongside the sea walls observing needlefish, upside down jellyfish and crystal clear warm water seas.
Eventually we traversed the island bridge, leaving downtown and heading to Stock Island where the fishermen and women lived and worked. We carried our packs past fruit stands, vendors selling fresh coconut water directly from the palm fruit itself and yards filled with white ibis with their curved orange-red beaks. The afternoon became hot and humid with little relief from the sun along the shoreline. To quench our thirst and our appetites we stopped in the Hogfish Grill at a marina which a local recommended to us. On the oceanfront we chowed down on deliciously fresh and crisp seafood, sipping iced tea and light beer to wash down buttery hogfish and succulent shrimp.
As we slogged back through neighborhoods the urban trail took us over bridges where we saw an enormous 5-foot-wide spotted eagle ray swimming through the teal waters of the channel. Not long after we finished our 9 mile walk to the Navy security station to officially gain our security clearance to get back on the base. My 3 liter water bladder ruptured right as we stepped into the Navy base office, the water leaking in a steady stream all over the floor. As we waited the 30 minutes for our paperwork to process, I went outside to attempt to superglue the water bladder shut but after patching up the water container with duct tape, bandaids and partially supergluing my fingers together, it was a sorry mess and I didn’t trust it to hold water. First day and I was already out of a water container. Plus last night I had put a thumb through the mesh screen of the tent so I was going to need some more super glue to patch that up as well.
The hourly bus from the base back to the campground never showed up so we caught an Uber back to the base where we walked back the mile to our campground. Even though we arrived at the camp check-in office at 3:20pm, it’s all a bunch of bureaucracy and even though there were 6 employees lingering waiting for the 3:30pm closure time, we were told on day 2 of camping that we’d just have to wait for the campground to open again the next morning when we were leaving to check in. There was so much paperwork and BS to stay on base and one of the volunteers told us we could
just call the office the next morning after we left early to finalize any check-in paperwork.
After sweating in the sun all day hiking, Shannon and I headed over to the marina on the Navy base where we picked up some snorkels, masks and borrowed a diving flag. The next hour or so we were going to cool off in the ocean snorkeling directly off the campground. Deb, a former CIA agent and camp volunteer, guided us to some good snorkeling spots next to the campground and we puttered through the sea grass, coral and sponges. I saw a yellow stingray and some fish and we had a blast “showering” in the ocean after a sweaty day of hiking. We swam alongside the campground, following a sea wall down to the marina where we got out of the water a bit before sunset. As the sky darkened, Shannon and I both had a mounting feeling of anxiety and dread wash over us like something was watching us so we climbed out of the shallows and onto dry land sooner than we had planned. The water visibility wasn’t the best and we heard that sharks started to prowl the area around nightfall so maybe we just psyched ourselves out. I don’t know though because I trust my gut instinct and both of us started to feel nervous at the same time while snorkeling.
A bunch of the retirees back at camp invited us to stay for burgers and BBQ for dinner which was super nice. With this being our last night in Key West, we really wanted to go out and explore more of the island so we politely declined. After showers, we made the mile walk off base to catch an Uber downtown where we grabbed some seafood and live music at a touristy restaurant called Schooners in one of the marinas. The boats and surrounding palm trees were decorated with Christmas lights which made the whole waterfront a festive light show. We dodged some very drunk people stumbling around the sidewalk outside and soon enough a table opened up atop the little rooftop section of the restaurant. The stars twinkled above our heads and palm fronds rustled gently in the ocean breezes as we sipped on key lime coladas and locally brewed beers, smiling wide as we took in the awesome band playing downstairs. The rooftop crowd took off and left us as the sole table which was a surprise. It didn’t feel like it could get much better than this.
Duval Street is the famous Avenue of debauchery in Key West so even though we didn’t want to take part in the craziness and chaos there, we did want to check it out just to say we’ve done it. It was like Covid didn’t exist there as throngs of drunk tourists stumbled from bar to bar, occasionally falling out into the busy street only to be gently scooped back to the safety of the sidewalk again by strangers. It was fine for a few blocks but too noisy and commercialized to want to linger long. On our way out of Schooner’s restaurant, we saw a half-naked guy who looked like he’d been partying hard on Duval Street. His shirt was gone and he was slurring in front of the band, “Tequila!! Tequila makes my clothes fall off!” The guys onstage we’re doing a pretty good job of ignoring him while waiting for a bouncer to come escort him out. That guy was definitely going to have a rough morning tomorrow.
Shannon and I disappeared down a side street where the noise and chaos of Duval Street diminished. A faint tune echoed up from the alley, the lyrics muffled slightly by the thick flowering bougainvillea and cabbage palm fronds. A tabby cat ran across the dark road and then another slinked alongside a fence line. To our surprise a dedicated sign was posted alerting passerby to watch out for kitties crossing the street! As a cat lover, it was my dream come true. Maybe these were some of Hemingway’s cats, just like how the rampant chickens wandering the island are supposedly Hemingway’s chickens. Key West definitely is pushing the whole Hemingway story but I think the allure for tourists makes the island intriguing.
We kept our eyes out for kitties as we followed the sounds of a band through the dappled darkness. Since we were in the Florida Keys, we made it an unofficial goal to try Key Lime Pie at every place we could and were heading to Blue Heaven, a restaurant famous for its tart pie. Cats dashed through the Blue Heaven outdoor bar as a mountain music band played for a small crowd of eclectic visitors. They made a strong gin and tonic there so I was buzzing after a few sips and we were enjoying the random mandolin, banjo and bass playing mountain tunes more akin to Appalachia than a quasi-Caribbean island. Unfortunately Blue Heaven was out of their towering meringue-topped key lime pie but we sat and enjoyed music instead. I was thrilled that they played the once chart-topping hit “Pig in a Pen” that my friend Eileen learned to play when she was mastering beginner banjo in the mountains of North Carolina. It’s a bit of a weird tune but I think it’s a pretty common song for learning stringed instruments like the banjo.
“I got a pig, home in a pen,
Corn to feed him on,
All I need is a pretty little thing
To feed him when I’m gone.”
I washed down the gin and tonic with an iced tea and then we decided if we wanted to hike tomorrow, we needed to get some shut eye. Our rideshare driver who picked us up echoed what we heard from other locals that as a Key West resident, it is your duty to protect the drunk tourists at all costs. As we snaked through the dark streets, our driver cautiously inched forward, watching all around him for drunk cyclists and walkers tumbling into the streets. It was nice to see a community come together to be kind to the drunken tourists having fun and knowing how important tourism was for the island’s economy. We hummed “Pig in a Pen” the 25 minute walk back to the Navy base campground in the dark since ride-sharing drivers aren’t allowed to drive on base.
After the Navy Exchange store was passed we hit up the bathroom where we brushed our teeth and washed up. A tiny gecko crawled up out of the sink in the women’s room, jumped onto the wall and curiously eyed my toothpaste container. I snatched up my toothpaste before the tiny reptile got any big ideas on preventing cavities and headed out to the tentsite. Thankfully no raccoons had come and chewed up our tent to get at our food because amongst all the rules at the Navy campground we weren’t allowed to hang a bear line from the tree to deter varmint. We tucked into the tent, letting the breeze blow through the mesh as we spied star after star piercing the dark skies above us until our eyes closed goodnight.